Kids love to laugh and joke around. School-aged kids, unlike adults, are less likely to pick up on dry humor or appreciate irony. What they do love, is to feel clever by putting the pieces of a joke together. As they decipher and tell jokes they are actually learning to make connections, understand perspective, grasp unconventional ways of thinking and understand multiple meanings of phrases. These can be a part of developing important processing and critical thinking skills.
Jokes also teach kids to be spontaneous and not to take everything seriously. Encouraging kids to create jokes of their own is a way to encourage them to be creative. Encourage your kids by laughing at their attempts at humor and helping them grow their ideas.
It’s also great to help your kids set boundaries to make sure that jokes stay fun and don’t become disrespectful. A great rule of thumb to share with your kids is that if you could tell that joke in front of a group of all different kinds of people (different cultures, ages, occupations, religions, body types, etc) and everyone could enjoy a good laugh together, then it is a great joke! If a joke could make someone sad, then tell a joke about food, sports or animals instead. You don’t need to worry about hurting your cat’s feelings, she won’t mind!
Explaining jokes is also a great way to interest your kids in scientific and other facts. Teach new words and concepts to kids as they come up. Maybe your kid seems to be wondering “What does it mean that spiders and baseball players both catch flies?” This is a great chance to interest them in baseball by explaining what it means to hit a fly ball. You can also talk about how spiders weave webs to catch bugs. Perhaps your kids will want to look for spider’s webs next time you are outdoors or try throwing a baseball for themselves.
Here is a list of jokes to get the family started! Knock-knock jokes are great for younger kids because they get to actively participate! Longer jokes are fun for older kids because they involve suspense and narrative.
Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goliath. Goliath who? Goliath down, you look-eth tired!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go MOO!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Anybody gonna let me in the house?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ya. Ya, who? No, I prefer Google.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owls go. Owls go who? That’s right!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nana. Nana who? Nana your business!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doris. Doris who? Door is locked, that’s why I’m knocking!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who? No, car go beep BEEP!
- Will you remember me in a year? Yes. Will you remember me in a month? Yes. A week? Yes. A day? Yes. Knock, knock. Who’s there? See, you forgot me already!
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi bud.
- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
- Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
- Why should you not let a bear operate the remote? He will keep pressing the paws button.
- Why did the man get fired from his job at the coin factory? He stopped making cents.
- Why was the broom late? It over-swept!
- What did the clock ask the watch? Hour you doing?
- Why did the cookie go to the nurse? He was feeling a little crummy.
- Why did the kid throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
- Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
- Why won’t peanut butter tell you a secret? He’s afraid you’ll spread it!
- What does the ocean do when it sees it’s friends? It waves!
- Why did the doctor get mad? He ran out of patients!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
- What’s the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
- What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else? Nacho cheese!
- Why do bicycles fall over? Because they are two-tired.
- If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A bagel!
- What does a rain cloud wear under her dress? Thunderwear?
- What did the police officer say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
- What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.
- Did you hear the joke about the roof? Nevermind, it’s over your head.
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why do basketball players love donuts? Because they can dunk them!
- Why can’t you tell jokes while skating? You don’t want the ice to crack up!
- What’s the hardest part of skydiving? The ground, of course!
- Which animals is the best at getting home runs? The bat.
- Why didn’t the dog play football? Because it was a boxer.
- When is a baseball player like a spider? When he catches a fly!
- What did the coach say to the broken vending machine? I want my quarter back!
- Where do polar bears keep their savings? In snow banks.
- What kind of shoes do frogs love? Open-toad!
- What do the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod. Any cod.
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
- What kind of dog always knows the time? A watch-dog!
- Have you ever seen a catfish? No. How did he hold the rod and reel?
- What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny!
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- Why does a flamingo lift up one leg? Because if it lifted both legs it would fall over!
- Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
- What did the sick chicken say? Oh no! I have the people-pox!
- Why don’t dogs make good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
- What did one flea say to the other? Should we walk or take a dog?
- What disease was the horse scared of getting? Hay fever!
- How long should a horse’s legs be? Long enough to reach the ground.
- How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.
- What kind of key opens a banana? A Monkey.
- What do porcupines say when they kiss? Ouch!
- What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
- Why did the cat go to medical school? To become a first aid kit.
- What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
- What’s the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? Lefty
- Why was the Stegosaurus such a good volleyball player? Because he could really spike the ball!
- What is ‘out of bounds’? An exhausted kangaroo!
- What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip? Bison!
- Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
- Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
- Why was Cinderella bad at soccer? Because she is always running away from the ball!
- Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the movies!
- What did Snow White say when her photos weren’t ready yet? Someday my prints will come!
- Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
- What does The Child from The Mandalorian write in his Valentine’s cards? Baby Yoda one for me!
- What happened the first time Mickey and Minnie saw each other? It was glove at first sight!
- What do you say to Simba when he’s moving too slow? Mufasa!
- What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? The same middle name!
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.
He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!”
The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, “But, sir, it’s fresh ground!”
Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends her back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
A man walks into a library, approaches the librarian and says, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.” The librarian says, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
“Sorry,” he whispers. “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
“Oh, no!” the kangaroo groaned to her friend, the rabbit. “The forecast calls for rain.”
“What’s the problem with that?” asked the rabbit. “We could use some rain.”
“Sure,” the kangaroo said. “But that means my kids will have to play inside all day!”
A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?”
The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”
“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer said.
“I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach.”
One day a man with an elephant walks into a movie theater.
“I’m afraid I can’t let your elephant in here, sir,” the manager says.
“Oh, I assure you, he’s very well behaved,” the man says.
“All right then,” the manager says. “If you’re sure. …”
After the movie, the manager says to the man, “I’m very surprised! Your elephant was well behaved, and he even seemed to enjoy the movie!”
“Yes, I was surprised, too,” says the man. “He hated the book.”
A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150 to paint his porch.
A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, “I’m finished. But you should know that your car’s a Ferrari, not a Porsche.”
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