The Worst Pick Up Lines Of All Time

You are bold and ready to get out there. You see someone new who catches your attention. Maybe it’s their chill vibes or the way they so excellently sport a jean jacket. You want to strike a conversation, perhaps even a fling. You only have one moment. You set your fierce gaze upon them and walk across the room. So what should be your pick up line of choice? 

Unfortunately, that is going to have to be up to you. What I can tell you is what you most certainly should not say. 

Here is a collection of pick up lines that I found on the internet that are best kept far from any gal or guy you’re trying to impress. You are in the driver’s seat. So buckle up and steer way clear of these suckers. These are the worst pick up lines known to man. Some of these pickup lines are offensive and revolting, so be warned. I’m only highlighting them because the public interest demands to know how sick and toxic society has become. This is like a museum of filth.

Would you like some butter with that corn?

Is your last name Gillette because you’re the best a man can get.

Do you have a piece of tape? Because I’m ripped! (Flex)

What’s on the menu, you ask? ME-N-U.

It’s handy that I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.

They call me Milk because I do a body good.

I’m sick, and my doctor prescribed me Vitamin U.

You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind the whole night.

They call me Elmo, and you can tickle me anytime.

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple. 

You must work at Starbucks because I dig you a latte.

Are you Little Caesars? Because you’re hot and I’m ready. 

Do you like plums? How about a date?

You must be from Tennessee because you are the only Ten I see. 

Girl, you’re my honey on my bunches of oats.

Damn, how can you be hotter than the bottom of my laptop?

I want to be your paramedic… I’m mouth to mouth certified.

If you were a president, you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.

If you were words on a page, you would be the fine print.

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Is your name Google because you are the answer to everything that I’m searching for.

Do you have any raisins? Ok, how about a date then?

Excuse me? I’d like to offend you. 

That outfit is horrible take it off right now.

Girl, they should take away your license, because you’re driving me crazy.

You smell, let’s go take a shower.

Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.

Are you a human? Just making sure.

Are you poop? Because even when you’re far away, I can smell you.

I would ask you if you are tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don’t do any running.

Are you ice cream? Because your face looks like rocky road.

You’ve got more legs than a bucket of chicken.

Is your mom a chicken? Because you’re eggcellent.

Are you the future? Because you’re looking hopeless and bleak.

Hey, you dropped something—my standards.

Hey, I noticed that we are both like socks… we could be a pair.

You must be a drug dealer… because you’re dope.

My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren’t conventionally attractive.

Is your body Mcdonalds? Because I’m lovin’ it!

You look alright, but you know what would really look good on you? Me.

Are you a slot machine? Because I would like to take a chance.

Did you just fart? Because you blow me away!

Your hand looks really heavy. Do you need me to hold it? 

If you were an Oreo, you would be double stuffed.

I’m not blushing. Your face is just so hot that I got sunburned. 

If women were boogers, I’d pick you first.

Are you garbage? Because I want to take you out.

You’re like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

The more I drink, the more beautiful you become. Cheers!

You have an onion butt. It makes me want to cry.

This must be puppy love I’m feeling towards you! You remind me of my dear dog.

I’m a loser. Want to hear more?

I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue.

Here’s $40. Drink until I become pretty good looking, then come over to talk.

Can you pass me an inhaler? Because you just took my breath away.

Do you breathe oxygen? Wow, we have so much in common.

I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?

You could never be ice cream because you are so hot. And because you are a person, and people can’t be ice cream.

I’d drink your bathwater.

Are you looking for a stud? Because I’ve got the STD and all I need is u.

I’m sorry, were you talking to me? No? Would you like to?

You can call me Shrek because I’m head ogre heels in love with you.

I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

Charmanders are red, mudkips are blue, if you were a Pokemon, I’d choose you.

POOF! I’m here what are your other two wishes?

My love for you is like diarrhea; it never ends.

Sorry, but you’re going to have to leave. You’re making everyone else look ugly.

The only STD I have is sexually transmitted desire… for you.

Are you a mirror? Because I die a little inside whenever I look at you.

I lost my teddy bear. Could I cuddle you instead?

I’m just a pirate looking for some booty.

Do you mind if I hang out here until it is safe back where I farted?

How to make someone uncomfortable in 10 seconds or less.

You look like my first wife. Her: “How many wives have you had?” You: None yet.

Is this a bus stop? Because I’m here to pick out up. Honk Honk.

Baby all your facial parts are in the right spot. 

Wow, it’s a shame you have to poop with such a nice butt.

Your mom was pretty good, so I figured you would be too.

If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope they stay away from your face, because I think you’re cute.

I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you are trying to say.

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Santa must have come early this year because you were first on my list.

Hey, did we go to different schools together?

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

Are you Ebola? Because you melt my insides.

I have 2% battery left, and I chose to message you. 

I bet you’ve heard every line in the book. How about I tell you one more?

Hi, my name is Microsoft. I want to crash at your place tonight. 

If we came to an agreement, you’d be the fine print.

You must have 11 protons because you’re sodium fine.

Fat koala. What? I had to break the ice somehow.

If it’s true that you are what you eat, I could eat you by morning.

Best of luck out there in the wild world, folks. 

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